When ego is lost, limit is lost. You become infinite, kind, beautiful.
- Harbhajan Singh Yogi
When you hear the word ego, what thoughts come to your mind?
In coaching sessions, this exercise usually triggers images of raging egomaniacs who crush everyone in their path in an effort to hoard accolades. Or we think of narcissists who drift through the office unaware of anyone else but their own self.
Because the word “ego” is so emotionally charged, that makes the realities of ego in action all the more seductive and dangerous. Our minds go to extreme places, and in turn would never consider our own self to be that person - the egomaniac or the narcissist.
Ego can damage your career or personal life in far more subtle ways, though, and when you begin to challenge and reflect on your journey you’ll find that in many situations you were the last person you should have trusted.
Ego is most simply...
Let’s start with a smile. I haven’t taken a day off from work in well over a month, so the proverbial wall was hit this week. And hard. Like a gentle nudge from the universe I came across this video. I hope it gives you a smile and a jolt of inspiration as much as it did for me and my family. My daughters watched it at least ten times straight, and that night I heard them repeating the affirmation while going to bed... and everyday since.
We’ve zeroed in on Facebook as the platform for sharing daily content, so please swing by and like our page. Each week we’re releasing at least two articles, multiple videos, and sharing resources we find helpful.
What We’re Reading
I’m going to take the weekend to check a couple of books off my non-work queue, and I’m starting with Bad Blood, by John Carreyrou. The book has been a phenomenal success by any possible metric, receiving critical acclaim and topping all...
For many people - most, in my experience - productivity is a true paradox.
Specifically, their misconception exists around how they utilize the resource of time. When I’m speaking or coaching on the topic of productivity, I typically find individuals favor a commitment to action over planning. This becomes an issue when the urge to just do something comes at the cost of planning.
For them, the focus is on doing or on movement. It’s about getting into the office and just doing something, which - unfortunately - in most cases means opening their email. They feel a rush of busyness by responding to requests and deleting items. In reality, though, they’re confusing being busy for being productive.
Productivity is about getting the right things done with the least possible investment of your resources. It’s about being effective with your time, about optimization. And these people never stopped to consider what the right things...
You wake up with clarity and direction.
By the time you’ve brushed your teeth, you’ve already processed what your nonnegotiable priorities for the day are and identified your incremental steps to live into your ideal future self.
You make decisions with ease that would otherwise derail an average person. These aren’t “hard” decisions for you, after all. By the time you’ve considered what’s needed and the stakes involved, the choice has basically already been made for you.
When you read these lines, does this sound like something from an infomercial?
It’s not. This is what life can be like for people who have created a personal mission statement.
A personal mission statement is a collection of sentences that captures what you want to achieve in life, the values that drive your decisions, and the motivating factors in your life that push you to keep going.
Starting this week, every Saturday we'll publish our newsletter as its own piece on the blog. If you want to receive this in your inbox every Friday, please subscribe here!
First up, please go like our Facebook page! That's where we’ve made the decision to focus our community building, and where we're publishing multiple pieces of daily content. Over the next few weeks we’ll be expanding those efforts into video-based work around coaching tips, lessons learned, and more.
What We’re Reading
I’m currently rereading Influence: the Psychology of Persuasion by Robert Cialdini for like the fourth time. The book has a fascinating history, with little press coverage and low sales numbers for the first ten years - and then exploding in popularity and influence once the worlds of marketing and sales realized the power within its pages. This book is the seminal text for the field of behavioral economics, or why humans make the...
A 2017 Gallup poll found that 85% of people surveyed said they hated their job or were actively disengaged.
One of the most popular articles published on LinkedIn in 2018 was titled People Don’t Quit Their Jobs, They Quit Their Bosses.
Then research conducted by Facebook found other key reasons for people leaving their job - enjoyment of work, utilization of personal strengths, lack of personal growth.
Even then, though, Facebook still came to the conclusion that these elements were heavily influenced by the direction of managers.
So, what’s an employee to do?
Managing up is described by the Harvard Business Review as “the process of consciously working with your superior to obtain the best possible results for you, your boss, and the company”.
This isn’t about political maneuvering or some other form of manipulation. It’s about you taking responsibility and exercising your sphere of...
Being overwhelmed - or not - is completely within your control.
This truth is core to performance coaching. But, still, peoples’ reactions to this are visceral.
I know many coaches or thought leaders who love to point this reality out to people to achieve shock value and get their attention. Then there’s this golden opportunity to really dig into self discovery and walk their audience to a moment of deep change, but they don’t.
We need to confront the fact that many of us have become addicted to being overwhelmed. We receive self-worth from the idea we have so much going on, that we’ve achieved the state of being overwhelmed... so we must therefore be important.
Or, for some of us, being overwhelmed means that we don’t have to press on, that we’ve reached our limits. And it therefore gives us a sort of affirmation it’s okay to quit.
But none of that is true. You do have a choice. You do...
The catastrophic spiral has claimed many an opportunity.
It eats any chance at momentum. It makes all future possibilities negative in appearance.
"What if" my mind goes blank during the presentation?
"What if" the board of directors hate my proposal?
The spiral begins with one or two "what if" thoughts, and before you know it there is a boogeyman behind every potential scenario.
But what kind of future do you create for yourself when your "what if" thoughts are what you’re living into, rather than a future that excites you - a future of positive potential?
This article is the second in a three-part series on being overwhelmed. The first entry dealt with being overwhelmed from too many commitments. Today’s post is all about becoming overwhelmed from your "what if" thoughts.
Bookmark this article so when you find yourself or someone you care about crippled by negative possibilities and distorted thoughts, come back and try out a...
"I’m just, you know, really overwhelmed right now.”
In my former career when I had 30+ people reporting to me, I felt like those words were the bane of my existence. It was a near daily occurrence for someone to be in my office stating this sentence, or some iteration of it.
In the beginning, I always wanted to be sympathetic and would try to find some way to support the person. But I quickly found this was impossible, in the sense there was no sentence I could offer or something I could realistically do to relieve their sense of feeling underwater.
Then it became a matter of learning methods to shift the person’s perceptions from one of paralysis to action. And with that my responses shifted from sympathetic to challenging.
When someone is feeling overwhelmed the last thing they want to hear is that they're making the choice to feel that way, but it’s true.
For this post, I had initially set out to capture three strategies to...
In any moment of decision, the best thing you can do is the right thing, the next best thing is the wrong thing, and the worst thing you can do is nothing. - Teddy Roosevelt
Being stuck in the decision making process happens to everyone - especially in this age of constant barrage of information - but this doesn’t mean you have to accept it.
And the cost of getting stuck in a state of indecision is considerable. More commitments will pile up, stakeholders in the decision will become frustrated and increase their rate of asking for updates, and on. Soon, that feeling of becoming overwhelmed will settle in and the act of making a decision will become even more difficult.
So, what do you do?
How do you break yourself from the “paralysis by analysis” and commit to a course of action?
All too often, I see people getting stuck in the decision-making process because they don’t even know...